I recently watched a movie with my friends where the beginning statement was, “When life gives you lemons… Make lemonade.” At that moment it panned to a bottle of vodka next to lemons and a quickly drank glass of this beverage. I sat thinking to myself at this sight: this world creates so much animosity and doubt. It dangles fear and pain in front of every person. We see this in war, we see this in relationships, and we see this in politics, in Hollywood, in school, in every area. It is as if we all feed from the vulnerability of people. Yet this one statement with a bottle of booze next to it showed a masking agent to the vulnerability- a loosing agent. However strong this loosing agent, fear is not replaced. It is simply thriving that much more for the consciousness of the human mind to stumble upon it once more.
I have a fear of people using my vulnerability and throwing it into the road. I fear that the men I see will take my heart and run over it… consistently. I fear betrayal and I fear heartache. I fear treacherous endings and I fear not being remembered. Yet these fears, no matter the greatness of the role inside my head, do not make up that whom I am. These fears are simply that- fear.
Fear according to www.dictionary.com is: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc, whether the threat is real or imagined... “Whether the threat is real or imagined.” These are clearly the two different forms of fear. Fear is an emotional agent to help a species, or in this case human, to defend or protect itself. It causes a response in the brain that a person either irrationally acts upon or a person analyzes rationally a response. However, there is a difference between a fear that is of a natural state and fear that is simply created with emotion. Deepak Chopra, a famous M.D. in the medical field of the mind and alternative medicine, says that, “Even though your physical safety is not threatened, your body still creates the same stress responses that a real threat would, and without the physical activity to convert adrenaline and other hormones into energy, they instead contribute to your baseline level of stress in the body.”
Fear according to www.dictionary.com is: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc, whether the threat is real or imagined... “Whether the threat is real or imagined.” These are clearly the two different forms of fear. Fear is an emotional agent to help a species, or in this case human, to defend or protect itself. It causes a response in the brain that a person either irrationally acts upon or a person analyzes rationally a response. However, there is a difference between a fear that is of a natural state and fear that is simply created with emotion. Deepak Chopra, a famous M.D. in the medical field of the mind and alternative medicine, says that, “Even though your physical safety is not threatened, your body still creates the same stress responses that a real threat would, and without the physical activity to convert adrenaline and other hormones into energy, they instead contribute to your baseline level of stress in the body.”
Fear in all of its aptitude just creates more problems within a person’s health: stress, anxiety, disappointment, hurt, etc. The list can grow to the extent that we allow the fear to control our emotions and mind. Yet fear, in all of its “life-like” forms is simply not real. It is not tangible. It cannot be seen, only felt through the nervous system. So why do we give it so much control? Why do we allow fear to rule our lives? My mom asked me if I get some form of pay-off from my fears. I thought about it and wondered if that was what it was… Maybe fear is my copout to do nothing but fear. Because it allows me to protect myself, I can have a response, a rebuttal to an outcome that I fear. However this only allows me to be continually upset and continually unhappy. It never allows me to enjoy moments fully, but only half-heartedly. It causes anxiety and stress that I do not need as a young person.
I decided that instead of taking this one man’s approach at masking the identity of the problem: when life throws you lemons, one after the other, just grab them and throw them back. The number one thing to do is not to allow the fear to speak or give it a stronghold. Pastor Dave Williams of Mount Hope Church in Lansing, Michigan, said at a sermon in 2007 that what we think follows us. If we dwell in the fears within our mind, we create those fears. Obviously sometimes the fears are inevitable but accepting them as life altering in a negative way is not okay. In the worst possible situation of all- you will make it. You. Will. Make. It. Fight back with your heart and courage for survival. The sourness of the fear is only temporary if we add sugar of hope to it. Start speaking back to it, telling it the truth in the moment. Start telling yourself that you will survive and that you are worth the fight to be happy.
For the people who are reading this and know me as a friend or acquaintance: I know that I need to eat my own words. I have a hard time believing the things people tell me and I have a hard time accepting my own advice for more than an hour on somedays. But I try. I fight. I am working for recovery in myself and I am working for healing to help heal others. The things I say are not quick fixes, even for myself. These are lifestyle choices and changes that take time, whether that be an hour or a year. Yet I still don’t allow fear to viscously take over my life.
Don’t allow fear to take over yours. Don’t give it a place to grow anymore. Change your approach. Find your niche at defeating it and consistently work at it. It might be therapy, it might be work, it might be running, it might be writing, it might be praying, it might be meditating, etc. Whatever it is, you owe yourself the peace of mind to remember that you are okay and fear is not real. You will make it.
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