You can't foul out.

Sometimes it seems like life has failed us. The things we want the most do not always happen for us as perfectly as we hope. Yet the hardest part is picking ourselves up after these lows. When we don’t stand back up sometimes we will walk around thinking about all of the worst possible situations. Our minds race directly toward the drastic wrongs instead of looking at the good that just happened.

Yeah life is hard. It sucks. It pisses me, personally, off more than anything else. I hate the rough patches in my road: stress, frustration, and even failure at times. I have been dealing with self-loathing since the beginning of this school year. I have been constantly in a state of loneliness and depression. I fear the worst and in return I create the worst. My heart has been through so much destruction which has been inflicted on my own account.

How is it that our minds can control so much of who we are? If we tell ourselves we are confident and strong woman, we glow that! If we tell ourselves we are not worth any attention, our flesh seems to mold green in every conversation we have. It is a shame that in a world where the rules to playing the game of life have become so fine-line that fouls are constantly called on us when no one read us the game-plan. It is hard, yes, but it is the challenge that will make us stronger.

If there aren't technically any rules to follow, then don’t let the bench hold you down. Get back up after that foul and try again. Unlike in football, you will never have enough fouls called on you. You always get to play again. 

Introduction

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud

was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

Anais Nin

(sapphyr.net)

There was a time when I could see myself as a strong and independent woman, a woman of valor and of strength, a woman of passion and pursuit. Although I struggled for this title as a woman, I found it to be only temporary. I slowly started to loose the power I once contained because I stopped believing in myself. I stopped standing in faith and that I had manifesting miracles in my life. I stopped believing that good things were happening and I stopped believing that happiness could find it’s way and I stopped believing that hope and strength were viable... When I stopped…I lost me. I lost all of me... I left myself behind for nothing that mattered. The worst part was loosing my compassion for life and my trust in love.

Yet recently I started to see that if love can move a mountain than love must be more powerful. Love must not just be that between a man and woman, but between God and person, and person with him or herself. Thus, my hope began to be that I rediscover, re-evaluate myself. I don't want to be the woman who failed on herself. The woman that let go of everything she fought for through the hell of adolescence. I want me to grow and be nurtured. The best example of this is when Miranda in Sex and the City says she needs to work on the relationship she has with herself because that is all she has and has ever had.

In this blog, I want to be the influence of positive growth. I want to be the hand that helps my friends from depression as I struggle through mine. I want to feed woman all of the thoughts that I rage in my heart to be said to them. I want my friends and family and the people I do not know to understand that being a woman is the most edifying and courageous thing there is, especially in this world and generation. Life is too precious to allow people into our heads telling us we are not worth it. We are. We are women.

Women stop letting go of who YOU are!  Stop putting yourselves in positions of hurt when YOU have the power and strength to stand up for yourselves. Stop giving your happiness to other people. No one deserves it. YOU woman are the reason that this world exists. YOU are the light and salt and herb and color of life. Men and people couldn't breathe without you. Stop discounting yourself or allowing yourself to drown in despair. You have YOU. You will always have YOU. That relationship is so much more precious than diamonds and rubies and pearls. It is the very substance that makes life grow and makes the snow fall and the flowers bloom. Without your heart, compassion, courage, faith there would be no happiness in this world. There would be no light. There would be encouragement. There would be nothing.